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“LOVING can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes”. (Singer: Ed Sheeran).

Feeling broken and empty for almost two weeks – I feel so alone! Secrets are being kept from my family… Each time I see them, or speak to them over the phone, they’re oblivious to the emotions I am feeling. They’re locked away, killing me inside, but dying to get out! Upset, devastation, hurt, anger…

My heart is breaking a little more, each and every time I remember a moment of love, or happiness, or joy!

Locked safely in my heart is a place for you (a place only you can fill), a place full of our memories, a place for me and you… Together.

Afraid to face the outside world without you… All I want to do is stay home. Afraid to live a life without you… I need you. Afraid to hear people’s thoughts and opinions… I blast music through my earphones, to drown out the world around me. Afraid to walk alone… I pray you’ll hold my hand, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

This love, this emotion, this connection I feel for you is somewhat different – something I have never discovered before. I’ve never loved before, that was all a lie, until now… YOU!

“Everybody hurts” (R.E.M) – the hurt I am feeling is strong, it’s powerful, it’s draining me, it’s taking my soul.

Unable to give up, or walk away – that sort of strength doesn’t live within me. It’s difficult, it’s painful…

Although you’re still around, I feel like you’ve already gone, like you’ve left me already… With no goodbye.

Can we rewind please?

Can we go right back to day one?

Staring in to one another’s eyes, whilst feeling on top of the world (from Vodka, and Jack Daniel’s), you gave me that smirk, and I returned it… Day 1. It was so long ago, but still a memory from what feels like yesterday.

Prayers and hopes fill my soul, every minute of every single day… In a hope that one day, very soon, we’ll meet again, and we’ll connect again (in exactly the same way as before).

Don’t go… Stay…

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